Happy New Year! Welcome to our first newsletter! Subscribers, you have been patient and we thank you! Our newsletter will be a little different, in that it is interactive. What does this mean? It means you’re involved! So, we will have assignments designed to facilitate healing and we also want you to share your thoughts about the topics discussed in our newsletter! Monthly we will consider topics that are designed to facilitate thought, provide clarity, and hopefully inspire meaningful, positive change! The Zen Imago, PLLC newsletter is created to foster beneficial engagement, as this reflects our mission of advocating for the empathic and affectionate alliance between us and our clients. Continue reading as we discuss our first newsletter topic, which is shame.
Shame. It is an emotion that most people have felt at some point in their lives. When we think of shame, we typically think about being embarrassed, degraded, or humiliated in some way by another person or group of people. However, we want you to consider shame from a different perspective. To begin, think about a time when someone tried to (or did) embarrass or shame you. How did you feel? Were you hurt? Did you criticize yourself? Did you attempt to shame the person(s) who shamed you? Each response is completely understandable. As human beings it is completely natural to try and minimize feelings of discomfort, so please don’t feel embarrassed about having had an emotional reaction. Now here’s what you need to know: those who attempt to shame others feel very, very, insecure. They seek to make others feel unacceptable because they themselves fear being rejected. So how do you deal with feelings of shame? Make the decision to love who you are! Accept yourself and remind yourself everyday that it really doesn’t matter what other people think about you or would like for you to believe about yourself. You get to decide that. You are not other people’s opinion of you, and you are not your circumstances. You are you. And you are wonderful!
Get out a sheet of paper and write down the details of a time when you felt shame. Really think about your feelings in the situation and write them down as well. Next, read it aloud. Think about how your perception of yourself has been negatively affected as the result of this experience. Next, examine what you have written and say “No more. This experience no longer has the power to make me feel bad about who I am anymore.” Now tear it up into very small, little pieces and throw it away. Put it in the garbage where it belongs. Now allow yourself to feel the emotion that most appropriately reflects who you are: Proud. Remind yourself daily that you are proud, strong, and amazing; when you see it and believe it nothing said nor done to you can change it!